Toddler Games

So as this is Holy Week I found myself (mindlessly) singing Christmas carols to my daughter.  I mean, why not sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to an upset toddler in the backseat of the car on Holy Thursday?  She didn't want to be strapped in, but how was she to know that if she could be patient for 5 minutes, we would be at the big park with the big slides and fun swings?  All she knew was it was about 70 degrees outside and she had to be out there enjoying it.

So I got to thinking, what in the world are "reindeer games?"  I mean Monopoly is listed in the song, but how would a reindeer play a board game?  How would it move the pieces or roll the dice?

I may be unfamiliar with what reindeers play, but last night I got a good dose of "Toddler Games."  You see, I had recently been sent a link to this blog about a lady who gave up screaming at her kids out of frustration and has successfully been able to be calmer and nicer to her kids and they have responded in kind.  I am trying to be a better mommy and got to thinking that I could probably be kinder to my daughter when I am super tired and all she wants is more mommy time.  Well yesterday was a pretty lazy day in our house (most Wednesdays are since Tuesday is the last of my three in a row night shifts), so it didn't surprise me when the little lady wasn't exactly sleepy at bed time.  She hadn't gotten in her daily dose of maniac time.  So instead of being highly frustrated at her for still being awake 90 minutes past her bed time I spent those 90 minutes playing Toddler Games:

-- Itsy Bitsy Spider - she has recently learned this song and the motions that go with it and LOVES it.  Plus when the sun comes out and she starts swaying back and forth, sometimes she falls over and it is super funny!!

-- Rock-a-bye Baby - Lets just say this has always been a personal favorite of hers.  She likes the actions and the fact she gets "dropped" - oh the giggles!

-- Ruffled Feathers - Since my little lady has always had a head full of hair, I occasionally (more so lately) will tussle her hair and say, "I'm ruffling your feathers." Which this of course makes her giggle.  Well last night as I was laying next to her, she started ruffling my feathers.  I started laughing so hard because I didn't think she would do it.  I don't know why I didn't think she would do it - I guess it was just funny in the moment.

-- Making Baby's Nose Numb - I haven't been getting a lot of baby kisses lately.  When I ask for a kiss or a hug I have been getting a lot of "no" head shakes.  It saddens me, but I know she is just testing her bounds and I know eventually I will get my kisses and hugs again.  Well last night I decided she may not be giving me kisses, but I am going to continue giving her some.  I kept blowing raspberries on her little button nose.  Well the vibrations had to tickle, because she would just start laughing, then pull away, rub her nose, then after a couple minutes she would put her nose against my lips again.

So basically I spent 90 minutes making my daughter (who really just wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle) laugh and squirm.  Did she finally go to sleep - absolutely.  When she was ready for sleep, she curled up on her pillows, tried a couple different configurations for comfort and finally settled on the original one, then went to sleep.  She may never remember these times, but I will never forget them.  Had I gotten frustrated with her and kept trying to tell her to lay down and go to sleep, I probably would have still spent 60-90 minutes wrestling with her and it would have ended with both of us in tears.  This way, we both went to sleep with smiles on our faces and good memories.

Fostering Beauty

My husband and I are told with a certain consistency how cute/adorable/beautiful our daughter is.  And we agree with them - but we are horribly bias in the matter.  I mean, she is 1/2 our DNA each, so we have a self-interest in the matter.  But the thing is, we know that physical beauty fades.  We all age.  Accidents and scars happen.  Being cute/adorable/beautiful isn't what matters.

The beauty that we are attempting to foster - spiritual beauty.  We wouldn't care if our kid was the most unfortunate looking  individual on the planet as long as she is nice, honest, caring and God-loving.  Besides being one of the most trusting and sassy little girls I know, she is very loving.  She will give hugs and/or kisses to just about anyone who asks for one - but only if she wants to.  She is sassy!  High fives are almost a given.  Waves, smiles, and giggles flow freely.  She is the kind of kid that everyone wants and we are so blessed to call her ours.  We started praying with her from the time she was born.  At 16 months old she can already make the sign of the cross (well it is more of a face-palm followed by 3 chest pounds, but it is better than many her age can do), she knows when to bow in mass, and she has figured out the rhythm of when to stand and when to kneel during the stations of the cross (although this just seems to be a great excuse to play pew peek-a-boo with whatever unsuspecting individual decides to sit behind us - which is one of her favorite things about mass)  Our hope and prayer is that she continues to grow to be such a great little person on the inside - because that beauty can grow and blossom into the type of person that everyone wants to be around.  Physical beauty fades - a loving nature is forever. 

You get what breed

First let me say, I am not perfect.  I make mistakes ... usually multiple times a day.  But something has been bugging me a lot lately and has made me reflect on myself and how I am as a mother.  I know two different moms that have out of control children, and I believe that they set themselves up for a tough situation. 

Both moms routinely call their kids negative names (not curse words), but names like "Devil boy", "Little Monster", "P.I.T.A" - ok, so the last one is curse words. (Pain in the a$$ in case you didn't know that one)  I asked both moms why they do this and they said that their boys are out of control and don't listen.  Even when I pointed out that they have become what their moms expect of them, both said "oh just wait, your daughter will become just as bad."

Well I hope not.  I think that by POSITIVELY reinforcing children they can be well adjusted.  Now, that is not to say I don't call my daughter names that are not on her birth certificate.  But lets look at some of these:

Little Miss Bedhead - This seems odd, but for someone with as short of hair as she has, she can root around enough when she is asleep to create some amazingly difficult bedhead to deal with.  I sometimes take pictures of it to showcase her ability!

Miss Sassy Pants - She is not lacking in personality.  Actually she is one of the happiest babies I have ever seen.  And I am not the only one that thinks this.    With all this personality comes sassiness.  It is who she is.  She crinkles her nose and snorts, moves her face to right in front of yours to get your attention then giggles, things like this.  She knows how to get a smile and does her little tricks to get the smile or laugh she wants.

Stinkerpants - This may seem negative, until you realize I call her this when she has a LOADED diaper.  Everyone poops - it is a natural process.  It isn't a degraded thing I say 24/7... and it is said jokingly.  Whenever I am calling her this, she is giggling... it almost like she lies in wait for me to discover the surprise she has for me then giggles when I tease her about it.

And of course there are the uplifting ones:
Angel - She is our little gift from God.

Sweetie - Again, happy baby.  Sweet hearted kid

Pumpkin - She was born in October.  I looked like I had swallowed the Great Pumpkin when I was about to deliver her.  She has been my little pumpkin since before she was born.

Cuddlebug - My little angel loves to snuggle.  I think if she could get someone to carry her everywhere she might allow it to happen... that is until she wants to get down and play.

So my hope is that my positive reinforcement of my daughter leads to more angelic than demonic behavior.  Don't get me wrong, my daughter isn't all sugar and spice all the time, but she is more sweet than bitter!

Problem with planning...

In high school I had "rules" for what my future husband would be like (in no particular order):

1. "Tall" - I am short and wanted my children to have a "fighting chance" at being average height.

2.  Faithful and good father for our kids.

3.  Have a shorter last name that is higher up in the alphabet that is also easier to pronounce.  I was always annoyed at being last at graduations, the end of classroom role....etc.

I did good in the first two categories.  The third one....um... it is one letter shorter, but closer to Z than A in the alphabet.  I did fall lower!  But the jury is still out on being easier to pronounce.

I was talking to a co-worker (a 19 year old) about her boyfriend and she laughed when I told her my "rules."  I have to laugh at them too!  Nice to know what was important at the time!

How do you make a priest smile on the most solemn day of the year?

The answer to this is....be my daughter.  She is such a stinker pants!

So she and I went to veneration of the Cross today.  She conked out on me on the drive there (no surprise there!)  I didn't think anything of sitting in the front row like we always do.  She likes to look around and I like to be able to see as well.  During the readings and the petitions (even with all the standing kneeling associated with this service) she was like a very heavy and dead sack of potatoes all snuggled up under my chin.  She was awake, but just cuddling.  The guy beside me leaned over and whispered how cute and calm she was being right after the Our Father.  She took it as a challenge - I SWEAR!!  The second the priest starts to part of the service that is the quietest and most solemn she starts giggling, laughing, cooing.  As the congregation is walking up to the altar for veneration she starts doing her snow angel interpretation (waving her arms and legs wildly like she is making the largest snow angel she can muster), cooing, laughing, squealing for joy....everything in her power to draw as much attention as she can get.  I tried EVERYTHING in my power to get her to be quiet.  Offered her the bottle - not interested.  Binkie? - oh no, who needs that?  She attempted to turbo launch it across the church.  The binkie saver cord saved it from landing on the altar or the floor.  Shhh'ing her only made her want to be louder.  Offering her the little squishy bear in the diaper bag - yeah, she threw that on the floor.  Turning her around to face me - no help.  Turning her to face the stain glass window - no go!  That just caused her to lean over backwards and about head dive onto the floor.  All she wanted to do was dance and squeal for joy while facing the altar.

Did I mention that we were in the front row?  Oh yeah.  Father could have taken 2 or 3 steps and touched the top of her head.  She was in his periphery.  He LOST IT!!!  He tried to remain solemn and straight faced, but failed miserably!!  He was laughing, as was about 1/4 the church.

Why didn't I get up and go to the back of the church?  Well on one side was a lady who required a walker to move (which was in front of her), so we couldn't go that way.  She seemed to be the only person in the entire church who wasn't distracted by my overly happy child.  The other way.....the procession line and the gentleman who was finding this very enjoyable and funny.  Plus he couldn't stand well either.

What did I learn from this?

1.  I am SO going to hear about this from Father.  This story is almost guaranteed to be told sometime during a homily.

2.  Sit in a pew with easy access to the isle.  No more sitting in the middle of a pew that holds about 20 people.

3.  Lent really is about the joy of the resurrection.  My child just was a day and half early in celebrating.

Oh, side note:  on the way home she was asleep before we got out of the parking lot!  I guess she wore herself out with all that playing.  That or she was just bored without loads of people to play with.

Mom and Dad-isms

So I have noticed that my husband and I say some very odd things now that we are parents.  Many of which can be completely misinterpreted if taken out of context.  Here are a few examples:

"No, keep your legs down." (diaper changing and dressing)

"Confessionals are not accommodating for 2 people - even if one of them is 25 inches tall and weighs less than 14 lbs." (talking about holding my daughter while in the confessional)

"Come on, please burp!"

"Poopy !  Yeah!!"

"Don't puke! Don't puke! I don't have time to bathe you today, please don't puke."  (also been said in combination with "Don't puke because you won't get a bath if you do." but that was said after she was anointed with chrism and smelled heavenly)

 "How's my fluffy butt doing?" (Cloth diapers!)

"What are the rules?  No peeing! No pooping!  Keep feet out of the diaper."

"I'll let you bite my noise if you will stop crying."

"Come on you stupid burger!"  (Said while trying to clean out my daughter's nose)

"No sweetie, we kiss with our mouths closed!" (She likes to lick people)

Appreciation for what we have

In a world where being a father seems to be purely biological (get the girl pregnant and say adios!), I am very much appreciative of my husband.  Yes, people, I am married to my daughter's father.  Shocking as that might be in these days.  Not only am I married to him, we have been married since 2006.  Our son was still born in 2010 and our daughter was born in 2011.  You do the math - the "ring" came before the "bump"!  (A fact that a priest thanked us for this past week - which is sad that he felt the need to do so)  The only shotgun that was associated with our wedding was the one that my husband's uncle/Godfather gave to him as a wedding present (completely random and funny story associated with that!)

Ok, back to why I (and my daughter, though she doesn't fully realize it yet) am appreciative of what we have.  My husband is not perfect - none of us are.  That being said, he does a great job of doing the best he can.  It took a friend pointing out how much I was taking for granted to realize it.  In the past week my husband has:

~ Changed probably 60-75% of the diapers when we have been home together
~ Warmed up bottles and fed our kid probably 75% of the time that we have been home together
~ Laid on the floor and played with our daughter
~ Encouraged her to roll over (her latest trick)
~ Sang made up and traditional songs to her
~ Held her when she was upset
~ Played with her
~ Read/told stories to her
~ Helped me clean the house
~ Dealt with my craziness with minimal commentary
~ Watched over and protected her while I spent time visiting with a friend

One might say, "yeah, but that is what you would expect him to do".  That is probably why I might have been under appreciative of him lately.  I should expect him to help out with our child.  Yet, in a day/age where so many men are making babies and running away or just not being fatherly towards them, I am lucky.  My daughter adores her dad.  And he whole heartedly deserves her adoration.  There are times when I am pretty sure she would rather be with him than with me.  He is the fun one. She is lucky, and one day very soon I am sure she will realize it.  Right now, she is just too young, so for the time being, I am here to say, THANK YOU SWEETY!  We love you!

Cradle what?

Sometimes a person needs to be realistic about themselves - so this is my self reflection for the day.  Ok, so my family calls that dry scaly skin babies often times get "cradle crap."  I just recently (as in about 3 months ago) learned that it is in fact called "cradle cap." Whatever it is called, my kid has developed it.  In the grand scheme of things, probably the thing you would want your kid to have because IT DOESN'T AFFECT THEM!  But it drives me BATTY.  I don't know why, but it annoys me that my perfect little baby looks like she has reptile skin.  It is about a quarter-sized spot, and from how much it annoys me you would think it covered her entire body. 

So last night at work I was complaining pretty hard core about this condition (and from the way I was carrying on about it I am sure the mom I was talking to thought I was bananas)  So after listening to me go on about it, and searching Google or ways to get rid of it, she looked over at me and said, "You know what?  You just need to have another kid because if you had another one to take care of you wouldn't even notice a little patch of dry skin."  Hmmmfph!  Message received.  I have a very happy and healthy baby, I should thank God for it and be grateful for this blessing.  Many other parents have FAR worse things wrong with their children and they handle it with loads more grace.  I need to learn from them.  But in the mean time, while I am learning, any suggestions about how to get rid of my kid's cradle crap will be appreciated.  Hey, I never claimed to be perfect - only human!